MUGS |
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Mugs drown in unsupervised bathing incident!
The bodies of 15 mugs were recovered today from a sink in Northallerton. It is believed that all the victims drowned while attempting to bathe without human supervision. A spokesperson from the scene said, “Mugs are like lemmings, all you need is one jumping into a sink full of water and before you know it the rest instinctively follow”.
Professor Toby Jug, a mug expert, claims “The lemming syndrome is not unknown among the mug population, though never in my career have I heard of such an enormous tragedy. Mugs have no individual cognitive function, so have no insight into their lack of buoyancy”.
A representative from the mug welfare organisation ‘B.E.A.K.E.R.’ said, “clearly this calls for legislation. No mug should be left near water unattended. When soiled, a mug should be washed and dried by a human being. If a clean mug is to be left unattended, then it must be placed in a safe cupboard”.
The Shadow Minister for Catering, Mr J. Cloth said, “This is a tragedy and an outrage! The Government must address the needs of mugs and increase the powers of mug wardens to prosecute mug abusers”.
Anon.
(Found in a kitchen in the Friarage Hospital, Northallerton, England.)
©2004 Sexual Health Matters. Published Quarterly by Express
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